Is “Not the Right Time” A Valid Argument?

June 26th, 2009 • 2009 Write-off, Personal

Just wanted to toss a quick thought out there that’s been on my mind of late. If there’s one thing that I’ve learned about life, it’s that a successful life is dependent largely on being at the right place at the right time. That really leaves a lot of things out of your control – or at least, what you perceive to be out of your control.

Let me share a personal anecdote. Recently, I was presented with an offer to relocate to a city that I am planning on living in at some point in my life. 3 or 4 months ago, had I seen this offer, I would’ve accepted it in a heartbeat, and dealt with the minor issues that it would’ve brought up at the point. Now, however, the responsibilities didn’t seem in line with what I’m looking for, I recently got involved in a new venture that I wanted to put some time into, and it just didn’t seem right to leave the community here, and the social capital (or “social capital”) that I’ve built up. It took some thinking about, but in the end, I feel I made the right decision – at least, for now.

However, I had the decision to make. While I made the “it’s not the right time” argument, it was completely under my control, and I could’ve chosen to do it if I wanted to. It’s important to recognize that timing won’t always be ideal, but that alone shouldn’t rule out making a decision one way or the other. Whether it’s with your business or with your personal life, it’s important that you make what you perceive to be the best decision in your life. I suppose it’s all part of the “live in the moment” philosophy that I like to preach.

Sometimes that means making decisions that hurt those around you. Sometimes that means being selfish. Those questions, though, are what you need to answer, not “is it the right time?” – if you wait around for the right time, it’ll never come. It’s such a subjective concept that I think you can always come up with reasons why it’s not the right time – or why it is.

Food for thought, anyway. What are your thoughts on timing, and how it works in life?

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  • Timing's a simple catch-all reason that makes for easier conversation in my opinion. Rather than itemizing all the reasons you chose not to make a decision, you can chalk it up to timing and people will understand.

    The danger in this is that you start using it as an explanation to yourself when making big decisions. You bring up a number of reasons why you chose to stay in Toronto, and they're absolutely valid ones. If you're telling yourself the timing isn't right, you just need to make sure you can explain to yourself why the timing isn't right. If you're just saying it for its own sake (which I don't think was the case for you) then you might be limiting your possibilities.
  • philnelson
    Out of courtsey, I will ignore the "everything happens for a reason" crowd which seems to pool everywhere on the internet that opportunities or tragedy are discussed. You're welcome.

    Here is my advice: forcing things works so rarely that it's not worth trying, on average. Sometimes you can get away with it, but you are not John McClane.
  • renee
    In the end, we are all in it for ourselves. Decisions should be made to better yourself, so long as it doesn't harm anyone around you.

    I believe that timing is everything. But so is Karma, coincidence, and luck. I am not philosphical or spiritual, but Dan if you turned down a good offer based on 'timing' it just wasn't meant to be.

    P.S. - Are you leaving us?
  • I think everything happens for a reason. We just generally aren't aware of these reasons until we can look back with the knowledge of how things have turned out... which can sometimes take years.

    Timing, I find, is actually a very good reason. Think of all the people you could have dated/might have, but didn't, because the timing wasn't right. People use that excuse all the time.

    Yes, we have control of our lives, and if you had REALLY wanted that offer, Dan, you would have made it work. I think timing can be a big part of a decision, but it always comes partnered with other reasons and factors. It's just the easiest to explain :)
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